On being a daughter approaching the marriageable age….

For some odd reason or another, relationships & human emotions always perplex me & yet at the same time, they overwhelm, excite and fascinate me, especially on the feminine side of the coin. I am 23 now & as per the Indian family calendar, am approaching the marriage podium soon… (All according to my parents and next of kin by the way)

My haven nowadays is abuzz with talks & whispers of how to get our eldest daughter and that’s me, betrothed. Gossips are in full throttle these days and nights with my parents crouching on the sofa sets and discussing things like, how to find suitable matches for their pyari daughter, finding all long lost relatives and checking if they have any good ladka in mindd…, “Kis relative ko kitne gifts dene hain “, “Beti kya pehnegi shaadi par”, etc etc & etc. I mean, come on. I’m still in my salad days & here all the tables are set and my mom is already day-dreaming about her future damaaad ji and how she would try( hardly) to be a purrfect saas to my hubby-to-be. Not that I’m complaining….but hum toh abhi bacche hain…

Just yesterday, I, my bro and my mum were getting back from our daily dose of outings, when my dear, tall brother opened his not-so-good mouth of words,

“Why don’t you give more attention in learning how to cook for the soul rather than blasting your ears with music from your dim-witted black mobile”.

My standard answer to his not-so-heeded advice being,

“Jab time aayega toh seekh jayungi”…

Kaboommm…that dialogue I uttered and my dear, coherent mother popped in and articulated,

“Haan haan, jab time aayega…tab saas kahegi, ma-baap ne kuch sikhaya nahi, bas bhejjj diyaaaa”…

Oh!! For the tantrums of the sasuraal have now etched out such a picture of it in my mind that my saas-ka-ghar looks to me like I am trapped inside a typical senile asylum…

My college mates too... have absolutely no other topic of interest other than mouthing just this one sentence to one another:

“Oh, did you know that cunning girl of our class got married. She indeed has a chikna husband. By the way, when are you catching up with the marriage fever”, She asked me…


When I told her I would tie the knot in another 2 or 3 years time or when lord wills…this is what she gaspingly tells me…

“Oh shoottt! How can you wait so long for your suhaag-raat??”

Little does the 5”4’ friend of mine know that she is indeed like a stupid child who doesn’t understand the fact that the suhaag-raat is the only raat of pleasure, rest all is like sitting on another man’s treasure….

The height of being married comes from the incident that my ex-class mate was so happy about his RECENT (take note: recent it was) marriage that his MSN display name is as follows: “hey ppl, me got married”…
Oh for Pete’s sake…how come you are alive then…

Even my college sports professor, who is an Iraqi national, recently talked me into the topic of marriage, all of a sudden...

“Wadh habben honey, you not getting married or you find nobody”

To which, I blushingly replied,

“No sir, im still single”

“Oh honey, your fadher is hiding you from all the boys haan”.

How I wish I could imitate that distorted English-language accent…

I’m so engulfed in this circle of marriage that I feel like humming a song, I wrote…

Everywhere I look,
Everywhere I glance,
There are boys all waiting for me,
To embrace a chance...

Marriage isn’t a cake,
Or no strawberry shake,
But still it keeps me pink,
At nights when I wanna take my forty winks...

Alas...Im just 22...
Trying to gain momentum as a lovely lady doo,
But my parents r going blue,
Trying to fix me up with a guy from the far-away igloo…


Help me oh unmarried souls,
For I am just another one of the small foals …
And now I don’t know what to write more,
So, im ending this nerve-wrecking song with an eye-sore….

P.S. – The worst part is that just next month i will be going for a reception party (again connected to marriage)….Hey Bhagwan….