Traffic Signal® ( Part 2)

As my dewy eyes slowly get accustomed to the galloping morning sun , dying to rise above the horizon, I slowly pick my feet from the bed to the ground and transport myself next to the window pane to find the first proof, that yes, its finally morning. Guess what greets my eye?? No, not the blooming flowers or neither the shadow of the departing moon, but. how many cars are there on the road and how is the traffic scene at bloody 6 am in the morning!!!!

Yes, you’ve got it right. It’s the traffic that I’m gona blabber about this time, which in UAE is as consistent as Virender Sehwag’s on-going bad form or is as natural as the leaves on a tree. I know you might be scratching your head by reading such unusual comparisons, but then on that occasion, I would personally like to invite to visit this place & see for yourself the car-to-car phenomenon that’s enveloped this desert laden land.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word “Traffic” is indistinctly defined as,

“Vehicles, ships or aircraft moving along a route”. I, Honey Kumar, solely, ask the people of UAE: Is that what you think traffic is , here in UAE?? A meagre movement of vehicles onlyyy….what about the daily screeching, bang-ups, or probably getting rubbed the wrong way. Those parking tickets, that daily running around, just in order to get 1 or 2 dirhams to feed that every hungry parking meter…haan, where did all that vanish…I am extremely sorry, Mr. who-so-ever editor of the dictionary, but, you will have to either amend your word definitions or include a separate category that delineates the word “Traffic as, according to UAE roads”.

You, as a driver of your car might get aggravated or sometimes even held-up due to the enormous abhorrence of cars all around you, but you know what I go through. I get hurttt , marred and wounded . Ask why? It pains me to see the roads writhing to be empty, fighting to see the light of the day above a car’s greasy tires or its ever-pesky drivers. It’s no wonder then, that the roads here are often closed due to construction or repairs. C’mon, they too need a life!!!!

Its worse than a formula one race here. The sapiens in UAE are so bamboozled and over-worked with their lives that if you graciously ask them for a side or want to change your lanes, they get so exasperated, making weirdly funny faces at you that you probably are in awe thinking whether you just did snatch away their promotions or mingled with their wife’s…

Like a book is incomplete without an epilogue and a prologue, the UAE’s traffic scene is curtailed without the mention of Taxi Drivers…These so called service-oriented professionals are in my viewpoint, the worst road populace in this part of the middle east. Never before in my 16 years of my stay here, have I come across such arrogant and rudely behaved people. It would not be off beam then to say that they are literally soaked in attitude, and why shouldn’t they? They are called taxi drivers…but u know what brand is their taxi…it’s a Toyota Camry…a complete remodeled version. Wild isn’t it??

And now that I have articulated enough about the traffic petulant, lets turn our wheel now to the positive stops of being stuck in one:

1. The most pragmatic approach to save your head and nerves from blasting out is to lend your ears to the radio. I know, that sometimes these so called paid-to-talk RJ’s are demented or more or less extremely lunatic , but then who cares?? Atleast they play songs…

2. They say that the grass on the other side always looks greener. This phrase proves absolutely precise when the person in the car next to you is exceptionally attention-grabbing and someone your eyes can feast on, at least for that time. Nowww, I hope you got the hens right. You aren’t that angelic, I guess…

3. Notice! Notice! Always keep something edible in your car for those mundane traffic days, so that whenever your car is on the standby mode, you can stuff your mouth with it. It would save others from your wrath and a mouthful of good words, that you would have shouted out , les your mouth was empty…

4. And lastly, if you are one of those who seriously miss the beachlines and sunny days, you can probably get out of your car and take a pose at how you lie on your beach-chairs. The exception being that this time the chair will be your bumper.Just be careful though, because if the cop uncle spots you, then you come on a beach-chair but..depart on a jail chair…


Traffic in UAE is always going to be there. We cant kill it. Neither can we halt it. We can only crib about it. So all you drivers, continue your so-called attempts of humiliating that authorities everyday & if you cant be sane on the roads, sell your car and start using the walkathonnn or better still..wait for the Dubai Metro to arrive…

Until the next time we meet..sayonara…oh shoot..the lights finally gone green..gotta go…byeee…